How to deal with feelings that interfere with learning.
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish go into a lot more detail in the their book "How to talk so kids can Learn"
But there are a few focus ideas that I’m grappling with before the term starts. Dealing with behavioural issues is not what I do not want to spend time on, there is a direct connection between how kids feel and then how they behave. When they are feeling right, appreciated and acknowledged then they behave right. So the question then becomes:
"How do we help them feel right?"
The simple answer is by accepting their feeling, but how do we demonstrate that?
1. Instead of denying feelings, which generally leads to discouragement, we can put those feelings into words, therefore helping the student identify and accept them.
2. Instead of criticism and advice, which denies the student ownership of the problem, we can acknowledge feelings without words, ‘mmmm’ or ‘oh?’ or ‘uh’ allowing her to focus on the problem and think for herself.
3. Instead of reasons and explanations simply give in fantasy what you can’t give in reality, thus making it easier for him to deal with the reality.
4. Instead of ignoring feelings we can accept feelings as you stop unacceptable behaviour, therefore making it easier for him to change his behaviour when his feelings have been accepted.
I’m certainly going to have a go at some of these… no promises on success.
